Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Why should I leave? What about my rights? Are you telling me to be a pussy? The definitive answer

I get questions about being confronted on the street all the time. The above are common responses to my advice to making a good faith effort to withdraw from a potentially violent situation.  Well, here's pretty much what I have to say about that

Think of the street you live on. Imagine you have a neighbor across the street who you and he loathe each other. Your property is your property. His property is his property. The street itself is neither of yours.

While both of you have the right to control what happens on your own properties, that doesn't extend to you controlling what happens on his property(or vice versa). It's a common over-exaggeration that you both divide the sides of the street between yourselves. Although you don't really own it, your side, his side -- stay off his, he stays off yours.

As long as you both follow these guidelines you and he can get through the day without problems. Yeah you may glare at each other, from either side, but so what?  You both can go about your business following these accords.

If EITHER of you breaks these accords that's where problems start. If either you OR he start strutting down the other's side of the street or parking in front of the other's property, it's pissing on another's extended territory -- even though the territory is being over extended in the exact property rights sense.

Knowing that, you have to consider that laws stop at a certain point and human nature takes over. Starting with that humans are VERY territorial. We isolate ourselves into areas with our like kind and do not like them coming into our turf. You roaming around in what some people consider 'their turf' is like you walking on the neighbor's side of the street. Yet at the same time, there are 'rules' about passing through other people's territories. Rules that you must either follow OR conspicuously display that you are NOT a problem. (I have business here or I'm here to help.)

I'll tell your right here and now, telling someone you 'have a right' is the fastest way to be shitting your teeth the next morning. (That's what happens when your teeth are knocked out and you swallow some.) Flat out, KNOW the way most people use "I have a right" is code for "Fuck you."  With the same snottiness that's encapsulated in this song

Don't be that guy.

Knowing that, a fast encapsulation of these rules for passing through other people's turf starts with STAY on the main thoroughfares. Don't be walking through side streets where there are residences.

Operate in these areas at the same time as families. When the families disappear off the streets, so do you. There is a serious 'shift change' that if you look for, you can see when the predators and trash take over. While the 'what are you doing in our turf?' is always there to some degree, after shift change is when it gets real intense. Right or wrong, you can bleed over it with the night shift.

There are some businesses/places you can go into, some you need to stay out of. This is for two reasons. One because the local criminal syndicate not only controls certain businesses, but the businesses themselves are deeply involved in criminal activities. (We're not just talking a front for, but say an automotive place that's a chop shop). Two, the locals get VERY territorial about their recreation and hang out spots (bars, clubs, parks, etc.) If the place is a local biker bar, your odds of being told to get out go WAY up.

So limit yourself to going into only certain types of businesses. If you go into one and are told to leave, leave. You can get a drink elsewhere. Swallow your ego and leave.

I tell you this because:
A- Overwhelmingly violence comes with instructions to avoid it.  Often it's sheer ego -- and nothing else -- that not only makes us not take the advice, but do the direct opposite. (For example when someone tells you to shut up or he's going to kick your ass, he is NOT asking you to make a comment about his balls bouncing off his mother's chin.)

B- The standard question when I say "If you're told to leave, leave" is "What if he follows?" Here's a hint, 99% of the time the instructions are legit. The reason someone gets followed is because their ego. Well, it's their little duck feelings that make them comment about mom's home blowjobs as they're walking out the door. This guy gave you a chance to leave peacefully and you just HAD to insult him. No wonder he and his friends followed you and kicked your ass.

C- Especially if it's inside a place or in certain areas on the corner, odds are good you've stepped into something a LOT bigger than just you and one other dude.

C brings up an important consideration. What's the guy's status? Is he a bum living on the corner or lone tweaker who's just being weird? Or is he part of a crew?  The latter could cost your life for starting shit with them -- or at very best, get you as the invited guest of a group stomping.

This is why the only answer to what do I do when confronted with someone who tells me to leave is "It depends."

You can say "I have business here" and -if that's true - end the problem right there. You could be getting into something way over your head. You could respond in such a way that the guy will flat out attack you. Or you could swallow your pride and get the hell out of a potentially dangerous situation. Or you could get in a fight with the guy and -- unless you're even better at explaining why you weren't a participant in the creation and escalation of the situation -- get your ass arrested and thrown in jail for fighting some random asshole.

Your call...

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